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You will not die in vain August 16, 2010

Posted by aboosh in Jordan, Violence Against Women.
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حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل.. إنا لله و إنا إليه راجعون.
اللهم إغفر ذنبنا و اهد قلوبنا و صبرنا على ما أصابنا.
اللهم تغمد برحمتك فقيدتنا و ارها مقعدها من الجنة و شفعنا بها يا أرحم الرحمين

A tragedy has struck us.

I never thought it would come to this. That I come to write an obituary for the closest and dearest aunts of all. My aunt Reema, may Allah have peace on her soul, age 35, mother of 2 girls and 1 boy, was cowardly shot while she was asleep. The assailant is her husband.

You probably have seen the headlines in the local news outlets here[AR], here [EN] and here [AR]. My aunt is (and I refuse to say was) the definition of youth, potential and an example of local women leadership. In her life that was cut short, she gathered tremendous support and love from everyone she met or whoever crossed her path. She is an example to everyone, with her level of education, her perseverance, and her elegance.

In 21st Century Jordan, she resembles where an individual should strive for. Her work for the local universities, for the local schools and graduate studies has affected hundreds of young local females.

In 21st Century Jordan, she presents the example of local leadership that works against all odds, to reform her surroundings, to present a better future for those who follow in her shadow, and to bring the bottom-up revolution we all seek for.

In 21st Century Jordan, aunt Reema presents the model for all Muslim women around the world: a model of conservatism and modernism, that adheres to the local cultural values, yet, flourish where many have failed.

In 21st Century Jordan, my aunt Reema AbdulHafez Al-Abed, was shot dead in her sleep.

In 21st Century Jordan, my aunt Reema was a victim of the backwardness that so many still live and thrive in.

In 21st Century Jordan, aunt Reema’s educated world, clashed with the retarded, backward-thinking, ill-mannered, jealousy-filled 2nd Century world of her cousin and husband!

In 21st Century Jordan, aunt Reema’s educated nephew, needs to write a blog post talking about the idiocy of a husband who still believes in magic and voodoo, and its affect on marriage!

We REFUSE to let you die in vain. We REFUSE to let you be another sad story or another sad statistic in a sad reality that we call Jordan.

This half man will meet his Maker soon enough, and I will not rest until i see the noose slung around his neck. He killed her in cold blood; pre-meditated, and long-calculated. She was a victim of years of mental abuse and a victim of old hatred that consumed this disgrace of a man.

But we REFUSE to let you die in vain.

The justice system will take its course, and this mockery of a man will be hanged, and all those who encouraged him and supported his cowardly act will meet the heavy hand of justice.

But we REFUSE to let you die in vain.

We will have the courage to face your tragic loss with heads held high, and show the world what you have taught us and kept teaching us.

You will light the road in your death as you did when you were alive. You will light the path to all women who are among us, but dead inside; women facing daily mental and physical abuse; women in 21st Century Jordan who walk among us with teeth missing , bruised eyes, hunched backs, and carrying the weight of an unforgiving and a thankless society.

This is not the end of these tragic stories, as we have seen so many come to bitter fruition on a daily basis; but this will be the start of eliminating this retarded and cowardly act from the Jordanian society:
1. The Government must act quickly and firmly to bring protection to these families.
2. The government must become proactive in rolling out programs, with boots on the ground, that act fast to give these victimized women other options.
3. The government must focus its work on education, rooting out the clots of backwardness, and prosecuting so-called-magicians. The jails MUST be filled with their likes.

The government has a role in dealing with this problem, but the society bears the heaviest role:
1. All mosque leaders and tribe aldermen need to educate their local societies about the roles and responsibility of men towards their wives, and how to treat them with respect and dignity.
2. Local women centers need to educate women about their rights and their options to avoid physical and mental abuse.
3. Women must not be scapegoated every time in order to protect her name and her kids. We have seen the price of that!
4. Marriage between cousins or 2nd cousins must be brought to an end. The majority of marriages between relative end up carrying the strains of old blood between family members.
5. All those liars who claim to be magicians or practice voodoo must be exposed and sent to jail to rotten there, where they belong.

It is a stain on everyone of us to be talking about magicians and 7ojob and se7er and God knows what! Why do we calculate the percentage of illeteracy in Jordan or highschool graduation rates, whereas we are still consumed by these folks who walk among us? We have a million miles to walk, and aunt Reema has paid the ultimate sacrifice.

You will not die in vain, Aunt Reema.

We cried heavy tears over your tragic loss, but you are with your Maker now. May Allah rest your soul in peace. God knows how much you are and will be missed. The tears might dry up, but the heart is so heavy 😦

I miss you.

حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل

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Comments»

1. Subway Mom - August 16, 2010

This is such sad news. May she rest in peace. Allah yer7amha.
I love your obituary. It really is upsetting to see many women stay and endure so much in their marriages just for the children. I sure hope we are able to provide women with enough societal support to let them know they shouldn’t stay. Inno, Islam is the only religion that allows divorce and yet we have the lowest rate of divorce because society looks at it as a taboo.
As for magicians, voodoo… or what ever else you want to call it.. it upsets me too that these people are allowed to walk amongst us and put thoughts in people’s heads. I agree with you that they should be eliminated and held accountable for the crimes they cause.
On a final note, your obituary proves my point that though we might be against capital punishment in theory, it’s much different when someone close is murdered. I hope he dies a slow and very painful death. Maybe hanging would be too merciful.
Allah yesabrkoun. Keep up the good work of raising awareness and inshallah creating change.

2. Jano - August 16, 2010

Inshallah she will not die in vain.. Jordan has to do something to stop all this madness.. its just increasing day after day!

God bless her soul and all the women like her..

3. haitham - August 16, 2010

الله يرحمها رحمة واسعة
و يصبركم

This is beyond sad! 😦

H.

4. halah - August 16, 2010

الله يرحمك يا خالتي
😥

5. XX - August 16, 2010

May her soul rest in peace… No words can heal your wounds…
I’m really sorry… She’s resting now in eternal peace with superior creatures…

6. Nivin - August 16, 2010

إنا لله و إنا إليه لراجعون الله يجعل مثواها الجنه

7. KJ - August 16, 2010

لا حول ولا قوة الا بالله
رحمة الله عليها
والله يهدي هالحكومة اللي نايمة على هيك مشاكل. لمتى التفكير الرجعي المتخلف؟
الله يصبركم

8. Jordan Needs Help « JanMania - August 16, 2010

[…] even so-called-honor !! She’s the aunt of our friend @Aboosh and you can read the whole story here: A tragedy has struck […]

9. Luay Rahil - August 17, 2010

It is devastating to read this, I’m crying as I type this. I’m sorry about your loss, so sorry about our loss, your aunt legacy will live forever. I’m sorry to read once more about those type of killing, where are our leaders? where is the government? Where are all the women movement to stand up to this? Where are out religious leaders?
Where are we? How we allow this happen?
Brother, I’m here for you. If you need anything let me know.

10. Mohanned - August 17, 2010

رحمة الله عليها يا صديقي..ولعنة الله على هلحيوان..

11. aboosh - August 17, 2010

Dearest,

I thank you all for your warmest words and kindest prayers.

My aunt tragic loss is something that we are still trying to come to terms with, and I do not believe it has yet sunk in. I would never wish for any of you to ever face what my immediate family is facing right now.

I am sure of one thing, that her memory were forever be a pleasant one. I want to start a foundation/center/fund (or even a deanship in a university) in her memory to help support women victims of mental and physical abuse, and empowering them to stand up to those resembling the backwardness sector in our society.

We seek the support of the highest levels of our royal family and government to focus on this issue; not just by making study groups and conferences, but by putting all possible resources to protect their most valuable capital investment: the Jordanian people!

12. Basil Othman - August 17, 2010

Abed My brother…..May her soul rest in peace, Allah yer7amha o ye7sen eleeha….o yej3al mathwaaha eljanneh inshallah

13. Ola Eliwat - August 17, 2010

الله يرحمها ويصبركم على مصابكم وينتقم من اللي كان السبب… إن شاء الله بلقى جزاءه في الدنيا والآخرة

14. Jordan: Reema, We Refuse to Let You Die in Vain :: Elites TV - August 17, 2010

[…] Aboosh opens with these words in a poignant and moving obituary written for his […]

15. Global Voices in English » Jordan: Reema, We Refuse to Let You Die in Vain - August 17, 2010

[…] Aboosh opens with these words in a poignant and moving obituary written for his […]

16. Reema - August 18, 2010

This is so tragic .. I am sorry for your loss ..
May her soul rest in peace

17. mab3oos: Royal Conversation IV (Crimes against Women) - August 18, 2010

[…] a hike. go ahead ya 7ayati. What's on your mind?Queen Rania: The other day, a mother of three was murdered in her sleep by her husband. This has happened before in the name of honor and otherwise. It […]

18. Qwaider - August 18, 2010

Inna lillah wa inna elaihi raji3oon
This is so tragic, and sadly still happens in 21st century Jordan.

19. Zuhair - August 18, 2010

Can’t believe this is happening!!

20. I can’t find a proper title! « Prosperedaffirmations's Blog - August 18, 2010

[…] crimes was added to the records. JoTweep Mohammad Al-Abed (Aboosh) says in his blog You will not die in vain […]

21. Reema « Caledoniyya - August 19, 2010

[…] the tragedy and the injustice in a manner as profound as her nephew, Mohammad Al-Abed, aka Aboosh: She was too young to deserve […]

22. ثامن ضحية عام ٢٠١٠ - ريمة، أخت وأم محبة، معلمة رائعة - لا شرف في الجريمة - August 19, 2010

[…] from Reema's Niece, may her soul rest in peace: You will not die in vain 16/8/2010 By Aboosh: https://aboosh.wordpress.com/2010/08/16/you-will-not-die-in-vain/ حسبي […]

23. لينا الشلبي - August 21, 2010

الله يرحمها يارب..ويصبركم….وياخد بحقها من هالوحش وكل من له يد في هذه الجريمة البشعة..الله يصبركم ويلهمكم الصبر والسلوان

24. Victims « The Diadochi - August 21, 2010

[…] other crimes happening in the region. If not for the emotional and gut wrenching tribute of her blogger nephew. The blogosphere went crazy, retweets abound, polls, petitions… the whole thing. Reema turned […]

25. hilde al qura'an - September 11, 2010

الله يرحمك يا خالتي وانشالله يكون مثواكي الجنه….

26. rawa'a al qura'aan - September 11, 2010

allah yr7mk ya 5altoo … w r7 tdle b8lobna

27. rawa'a al qura'an - September 11, 2010

allah yr7mk ya 5altoo … w r7 tdle b8lobna

28. fara7 al_barmawi - September 11, 2010

I’m so sorry for your loss. The loss of your lovely aunt………………..allah yr7mha w ysber ahlha

29. saja al_barmawi - September 11, 2010

So sorry about the death of your honest aunt
allah yr7mha w yj3al mthoaha el jana ya rb

30. Syrianish - September 26, 2010

I am so sorry for your loss..

Nothing anyone can say, would ever bring her back.. but she’s in a good place now..

I wish u all the patience in the world..

She will never die in vain..

31. Tonya - October 22, 2010

She will live forever in the hearts and minds of those whose lives she touched.

32. mab3oos: Royal Conversation IV (Crimes against Women) - December 24, 2010

[…] a hike. go ahead ya 7ayati. What's on your mind?Queen Rania: The other day, a mother of three was murdered in her sleep by her husband. This has happened before in the name of honor and otherwise. It […]

33. You will not die in Vain - March 5, 2011

[…] Read More […]


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