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To Know Reema August 19, 2010

Posted by aboosh in Jordan, Violence Against Women.

She was too young to deserve this.

She was too beautiful inside and out to endure this torture and misery.

To know Reema, is to know that she was the youngest sister in a family of 4 brothers and 6 sisters, my mom being the eldest. My 86 year old grandfather was never supposed to bury his childern, especially not the youngest. لا اعتراض على حكم الله.

To know Reema, is to know that she was a small village girl with big girl dreams. She was bubbly, smart, full of life and energy, a jokster, and the smile never left her face, or those who surrounded her.

To know Reema, is to know that she was an artist at heart, but was short from making it into Yarmouk Uni College of Arts. She finished her studies in English Literature at Philadelphia Uni, and became an English teacher. Soon enough, she proved herself a valuable asset to the local society. She rose within the teacher ranks to become a course coordinator for the English teachers in the region. She was the leader of the local Scout Troops chapter, saluting the Jordanian flag every morning at the Al-Mastaba Girls High School.

To know Reema, is to know that she was shot less than 4 days after she finished her Higher Diploma exams for her IT degree.

To know Reema, is to know that the title of her IT degree graduation project was “التغيير للمستقبل الواعد” which translates to “Change for a Bright Future”, focusing on improving the tools the teachers have and making the student the pivotal point in an increasingly IT-integrated education process.

To know Reema, is to know she was a high caliber teacher who participated in Queen Rania’s Jordan Education Initiative and has presented her with appreciation letters from Queen Rania’s office. She defied all the odds in the community and she had the initiative to open up a Yarmouk Uni section in Al-Mastaba, so that her other female colleagues won’t have to travel to Irbid City during the week, but rather have the professor come to teach them; All in the name of easing their daily suffering!

To know Reema, is to believe that she was the best in what she did, plowing through the daily husbandry abuse that ultimately cost her her life.

To know Reema, is to know that she is one in many. She is the one whose life was cut short, but speaking for many who continue endure daily physical and mental abuse on the hands of their families and husbands. Yes, violence against women is a global disease. But this one, oh, struck too close to home, and the heart refuses to let her go in vain.

To know Reema, is to love Reema, and to promise her that her message is heard throughout the four corners of the universe.

However, we are awaiting to hear a single word from the Jordanian leadership which does have the political well and the moral obligation to bring in the change that was due the morning of last Friday! Your apathy, your indifference and your silence is deafening!

I challenge you to take on the responsibility that the people have entrusted in you. I challenge you to uphold your mandate that defines your role in the society. I challenge you to protect the constitutional rights for every woman and child in Jordan, and assure them the safety they are entitled to.

We have a problem that we all need to face with courage and humility. Reema was a victim of abuse, and she died a martyr. For how long are we going to tolerate the abusers in our society? For how long are we going to accept bruised women with missing teeth walking amongst us as if it is the norm? For how long does the schizophrenic reality of this society going to take a free pass before we intervene and cure it? For how long are we going to allow one more frigging magician to destroy more homes of the country we love and belong to? Do we have to actually witness the sacrifice of every abused woman’s life before we put an end to this insanity? Or is it because Reema is an ordinary woman with an ordinary last name, you’d think she’ll be forgotten with the passing of days?

To know Reema, is to know she’s nothing but ordinary.

I call for the establishment of a foundation in her name, focused on the educating, protecting and empowering local women in all Jordanian govetnorates, and having the highest level of social, psychological, and psychosocial training to quickly act in response to domestic violence and abuse.

I am aware of the fact that such programs do exist in Jordan, but we need these programs and laws to be enforced, and the punishment to be stiff (as it is the case in other developed countries). This is the only way we can deter any one claiming to be a man who abuses a woman, believing it is his God-given right as a man.

Speaking for myself and for my family, I personally thank all of those who extended their condolences and prayers for my Aunt, may her soul rest in peace. The outpour of support, sympathy, and anger over her victimization is humbling.

The public outcry against this crime is overwhelming, both locally and internationally. A petition on change.org ushers the Jordan government and Royal Family to enforce the laws to protect women in Jordan. Global Voices, Elites TV and 7iber have also ran extended pieces on the story. Many follow bloggers and tweeps have been highly vocal and supportive in the need for change to honor Reema’s memory.

To know Reema, is to have the courage to walk high in her footsteps.


1. KJ - August 19, 2010

I never managed to understand the tribal system in Jordan and how many people are getting away with honour (rather, dishonour) crimes. Your aunt is a true gem in society and I felt very proud by reading her achievements. I am very proud to know of such an amazing woman in our Arab society and I am equally ashamed that she had to go away so early.

It is now everyone’s job to continue what she started and maintain the legacy she has put forth for everyone else.

Such a shame! I wonder where is her murderer now, though?

aboosh - August 19, 2010

Her murderer is now in jail, and the justice system will take its due course. He will be hanged, or will forever rot in jail; though I want the former than the latter.

Brother, this is not an dishonor crime. He killed her not because of a crime or a sin or anything of that matter; he killed her just to answer to the devils that occupied his illiterate mind, and corrupt backward understanding to the role of the husband and wife in a functional family.

He killed her due to very old problems between the families that made its way to their marriage, and thats why we need to put an end to relative marriages in our society.

He killed her because he was dealing with black magic, sorcery, and voodoo, and he believed in it. He represents a large group of seemingly educated people in our society, yet living the dark ages.

This is what how we want Reema to be remembered. To be a catalyst of change to all the women who endure the abuse of their spouses and families, and to eradicate the sources of stupidity in a 21st century society.

KJ - August 19, 2010

I didn’t mean honour crimes in that sense, sorry for that, I only meant to imply that he dishonoured society with this murder. I did read in your previous post that he was into all the voodoo stuff. Many people are, and it’s a very sad fact. It’s sad that people do still practice and believe in these things. I do know of a couple who broke their marriage because of an alleged voodoo spell hanged behind a photo frame or something.

Why would anyone want to harm your aunt is beyond my comprehension. She was doing the world a favour.

What bothering me even more is Jordan’s recent interest in dealing with cyber crime law when more important and local crimes like this are being committed.

2. B - August 19, 2010

my words escape me Mohammad..I can’t believe it took me this long to realise that this misfortune that i’ve been talking about is closer to me (through you) than i’d liked.

Reema will be the inspiration that will drive this wheel of change, i promise you – her death was/is NOT IN VAIN

الله يقويكم.

aboosh - August 19, 2010

No one wishes such a tragedy to be inflected on anyone else, not even his enemy. We’ve been trying to cope with it, and that feeling eludes us.

We are trying to channel our grief and pain and anger to become a positive force that rise up to her memory.

3. Mayyasi - August 19, 2010


i can’t express how sorry i am for u loss, jad allah yer7amah
i would like to offer u something that may help

why not to translate ur articles about her into Arabic and publish it like in one day on all JO blogs and 7iber for example?

I can do the translation and advertise on my blog and ask other to do it
that is if u do not mind of course

aboosh - August 19, 2010

Thank you Mayyasi for your heartfelt words. Allah yer7amha w y7sn mathwaha.

I have been working on a translation of the first blog post, but its just a first draft. I have not translated this one yet. Your help would be greatly appreciated with this. As you and others indicated, this is not my personal cause, it is everyone’s cause.

7iber did run the blog in English, but nothing in Arabic has been shared yet. I’ve been wanting to post it in alrai and other news outlets (like saraya, sawsana, 3moon, and khaberni) becuase these are the most sites that get hits from everyday Jordanians.

u can contact me at my email alabedma [at] gmail [dot] com and i will provide you with the initial draft I have.

Thank you, in advance, for your help.

4. Mayyasi - August 19, 2010


i sent u an email. waiting for ur reply.

5. almondjoycie - August 19, 2010

your post gave me chills and my eyes are welled with tears. I am so sorry for your family’s loss. Thank you for writing about it from your heart. This is the second post I read this week about the subject, and while the first post was well written and well intended, your writing has made me want to take action in whatever small way I can. Let her death not be in vain. God bless.

6. Jano - August 19, 2010

inshallah this will not have to go on like this.. these crimes and abusing women should stop. and we should not accept less than that!

the law have changed way better than before, but we still need better law in place to protect women.

allah yer7amha o yer7am o ysa3ed all women like her..

7. أصوات أردنية حرة: ريما…ثقافة الإتكالية…مسجد قرطبة في منهاتن…قانون جرائم الإنترنت | 7iber Dot Com - August 21, 2010

[…] العالي في تكنولوجيا المعلومات”…ما وصف  به، محمد، عمته ريما على مدونته واثقا أن دمها لن يذهب سدى.  يسأل […]

8. Ann - August 21, 2010

I’m so sorry for your loss. May Allah shed His mercy upon her, Amin.
With all my respect and appreciation of what you’re doing to raise the society’s awareness and to speak up for the voiceless in our society, these horrible crimes against women in Jordan need a reach to the spots of ignorance and backwardness in the country in which people don’t understand English (or even Arabic). We need to be down-to-earth in our efforts to uproot these social diseases.
There are lots of silent women out there suffering the same that Reema, Mercy be upon her, was suffering.
I encourage you and all educated people out there to stand for a change in our society so that Reema’s blood won’t go in vain.

aboosh - August 21, 2010

i couldnt agree with you anymore. give me your hand and i’ll walk to the moon and back if needed to do all i can to uproot these social diseases. Being physically so far away from the family, I am fighting with the only tool I have at my disposal right now. But when we work all as a unified front, and demand this change, we will break through, and Reema’s memory will be the catalyst of change. She’ll be the voice of the voiceless, insha2Allah

9. lana - August 21, 2010

لماذا قتلتني ؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟
استيقظت على صوت اطلاق النار…وقفت انظر الى نفسي … نائمة على جنبي الايمن… واطفالي الثلاثة من حولي نيام… لا افهم ما يحدث..لكن الدم ينزف من راسي…فراشي كله دماء
اطفالي …احبائي…رباه دعهم نيام حتى لا يروا ما حدث لي..
لقد نمت آمنه في فراشي…و جاء ابن عمي..زوجي..ووالد اطفالي..و اطلق النار علي…قتلني في فجر ثالث يوم من رمضان.
باي ذنب قتلتني؟؟؟
يقول: ان قريب له مشعوذ …اخبره ان سحر معمول له سيكون سبب في موته …الحل الوحيد لفكه هو :قتلي
يا عالم …يا بشر…. هل هذا سبب اقتل من اجله ؟؟؟
قتلني من اجل مشعوذ…..يتم اطفالي من اجل مشعوذ
اغادركم واقول:حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل

aboosh - August 21, 2010

حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل. الله يرحم خالتنا يا لانا. القلب بنزف و العقل رافض يصدق

10. Mumtaz Mahal - August 21, 2010

‎~In the memory of Rima~
A beloved mother,,
A brave woman,,
A great aunt,,
She was murdered last week
During these hours,,
She went to sleep between her kids
Not knowing she’ll never wake up ever again,,
She never knew she won’t see her loved ones after that night..
Our only condolence is that she’s in heaven now,,
With her creator where no one could ever hurt her again..

For her beautiful memory:
“I close my eyes as I wipe a tear.
I just keep wishing you were still here.
I will hold all the memories deep in my heart.
Through these memories will never part.

I close my eyes as I wipe a tear.
I just keep wishing this pain would disappear.
I didn’t get the chance to say my last good-bye.
I just didn’t think you could ever die.

I close my eyes as I wipe a tear.
All of your love I will always hold near.
In my heart and my mind I will never be alone.
You’ll always be here with me..”

11. Majeda Qudah - August 24, 2010

“Don’t let go of me”
~In her beloved memory~

Don’t let go of me
For I’m still here
My spirit refuses to leave..

Don’t let go of me
For if it was you
I would hold on to you
And never let anyone harm you or take you away from me..

Don’t let go of me
Give me one more chance to hold my kids close to my heart
And watch over them,,
Let me tell them how lucky I’m to have them
And how much they mean to me..

Don’t let go of me
Celebrate my day of birth & never mention the day I left
Remember my life, laughter & the things I do the best
Talk about me as a present & future
But never as a past or the last case of death..

Don’t let go of me
For I’m a believer & still not done with my hopes & dreams yet
I lived my whole life imagining them becoming real in my head
My life plans could be accomplished & could be real
They just need me to be present, they need me to be right here..

So please try to feel me
And NEVER let go of me..

12. Katrina - August 27, 2010

I’m very very sorry for your loss… Violence against women has been tolerated long enough in our society and its about time serious measures are taken with severe consequences. May her soul rest in peace.. She was obviously a beautiful person who left too soon… My condolences..

13. Hana - August 28, 2010

I am utterly speachless.. and ashamed of this society for its silence and ignorance, yet so proud of Reema, and of women like Reema, enshalla a change is due.. or bsara7a: way over-due.

It’s a great idea to name a social help-network after her name.

I don’t buy it that her husband was really into voodoo. I personally think he is just saying that. could he have been jealous of her success??? no matter what his reasons are I hope he gets what he deserves, bil donya o bil akhreh..

14. lana - September 6, 2010

باي ذنب قتلتني؟؟؟
يقول:امي واخواتي و اخواني يكرهونها…الحل الوحيد حتى ارضيهم و ارضى هو :قتل ريمة
يقول:الغيرة منها و من تفوقها نهشت جسدي والحل الوحيد لاطفاء نار غيرتي هو :قتل ريمة
يقول:حبها للناس و عطاؤها المستمر لهم جعلني حقودا والحل الوحيد لاشفي غليل حقدي هو:قتل ريمة
وهكذا يا ريمة خططت و دبرت و جعلتك تعتقدي ان هنالك امل لنا و لحياتنا وانت كعادتك لا تفقدي الامل …و بقيت انتظر حتى حانت لي الفرصة……….وجدك قد نمت بعد ان طال انتظارك لعودتي فجلبت مسدسي وانا اقول اقتلها او لا اقتلها لكني لم اتردد اكثر فكلي رغبة لقتلك واطلقت رصاصتان بهما كل كرهي و غيرتي و حقدي
على راسك وهكذا تخلصت منك وارتحت .
وانا اقول يا خالتي الحبيبة: اللهم احصهم عددا و اقتلهم بددا و لا تغادر منهم احدا

15. fffffff - September 13, 2010

واللة العظيم انتي الغالية يا عمتي
انت الغالية

حسبي اللة ونعم الوكيل عليهم
حسبي اللة ونعم الوكيل على كل انسان ظلمك
حسبي اللة ونعم الوكيل

انشاللة مؤاهم النارررررررررررررررر كل انسان ظلمك


16. معن العابد - September 13, 2010

انا…… كمان لا اعرف ما هو السبب المقنع الذي يجعل ابنائي يتامى كي اقتل؟؟؟؟؟؟ …..
لا اعرف ما هو السبب الذي يؤدي بي الا قتل روح بريئه بل طاهره
ابنت عمي!! ام اولادي وزوجتي
كل هذا لا يوجد له جواب
لماذا قتلتنا جميعاً يا مجرم ؟؟؟؟؟
اعلمكم والله انها ما كانت الا ملاك تعيش بين البشر
كانت دائما مبتسمه رغم الضلم والقهر التي تعرضت له من اهل المجرم
با اخوااان قتلة عمتي ريمه في ثالث يوم من رمضااان في العشر الاولى من رحمه
قتلت ضلماً
قتلت بين اولادها وهي نائمه
قتلت وهي صائمه ومصليه وقراءه للقران
لا اقول الا لا حول ولا قوة الا بالله
وحسبي الله ونعم الوكيل عليك يا صبحه انت وولادك

17. lana - September 14, 2010

حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل
حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل
حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل
حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل
حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل
حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل
حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل
حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل
حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل
حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل
حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل
حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل
حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل
حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل
حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل
حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل
حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل
حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل
حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل
حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل
حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل
حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل
حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل
حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل
حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل
حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل
حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل
حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل
حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل

18. lana - September 14, 2010

حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل
حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل
حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل
حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل
حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل
حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل
حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل
حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل
حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل
حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل
حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل
حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل
حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل
حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل
حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل
حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل
حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل
حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل

19. sahera - October 16, 2010

(( لا يسعني ان اقول الا(( حسبنا ونعم الوكيل
والله.. وان قتلك زوجك الجبان ف ..روحك باقية بيننا ابتسامتك..اطلالتك علينا كل صباح..ووقت حركة الطلاب الى المدارس وعند رفع علم البلاد …وفي كل وقت
خالتي الحبيبه ….اننا نحتسب مصابنا …وستبقين محفورة في الذاكرة….

وما قتلك الا تنفيذا للشر المزروع داخلة لامر الشيطان وامر
من يوسوسون له…..فحسبا الله ونعم الوكيل

20. rawaa ahmad - January 25, 2011

حسبي اللةونعم الوكيل
كل واحد شارك بلجريمة اللة بنتكم من كل ضالم
ان اللة يمهل ولا يهمل حسبي واللونعم الوكيل
الله ينتكم من كل كانو يحاولو يذكي
انةزوجك الجبان المريض قتلك………….بس انتي بعدك ما غبتي عنا راح تضلي بقلوبنا ماراح ننساكي انتي البسمة و الوردة الي تفتحت على الدنياكنت بتضوي مثل شمعة المضوية كان دين كامل زمكمل ما كنت تنسي فرض او رطعة من الصلاة الا وتقومي تعبدي للة شكرا على كل حال
اللة يضلم الي كان سبب كل واحد ضالم
اللة بنتكم من كل ضالم
حسبي اللة ونعم الوكيل
حسبي اللة ونعم الوكيل
حسبي اللة ونعم الوكيل

21. أم أين - December 1, 2012

30-11-2012 الخميس

اللهم لك الحمد والمنه
“وما ظلمناهم ولكن كانوا أنفسهم يظلمون”
نامي يا قريبة العين يا أم محمد….. فقد جاء الحق وزهق الباطل
وأصبح المرجفون في المدينة لا صوت لهم

والله ولي الصابرين

22. بنتك أم أيمن - December 1, 2012

إلى المرحوم بإذن الله والدي

أرجو من الله أن يكون بلغك الخبرً فنم قريراً يا والدي الحبيب لأن الله وعدنا بنصره كما تعلم في سورة الإسراء والآن بعد ٢٧ شهر من الإنتظار والقهر و الألم النفسي والضغوط من البعيد والقريب واللعب بالأعصاب وكلام المرجفين في المدينة من الأقارب وغيرهم حتى شعرنا أنه لا يوجد صاحب ولا صديق من أهل المدينة نفسه معنا حتى بعد صدور الحكم لا حس ولا خبر ،، الظاهر يا والدي انهم خائفون من من؟ فنحن لا نعتب على قريب ولا بعيد
نحن أقوياء بالله.

لكن نحن من البداية نشعر بقوة في داخلنا لأننا نعلم أن الله لا يضيّع حق مظلوم،، كما قال الله تعالى:
” كم من فئةٍ قليلة غلبت فئة كثيرة بإذن الله والله مع الصابرين”

فرحمة الله عليك يا والدي متّ مقهوراً، والآن ارتاح نحن بخير ولأني أعلم أنكم في البرزخ تتابعون أخبار أحباء كم في الدنيا بعلم من الله، والله أعلم.

اللهم ارحم والدي وأموات المسلمين

23. بنتك أم أيمن - December 1, 2012

يوم الخميس الموافق 30-11-2012

اللهم لك الحمد والمنه
“ومَا ظَلمناهُم ولكِن كانوا أنفسهم يظلمون” صدق الله العظيم
نامي يا قريرة العين يا أم محمد….. فقد جاء الحق وزهق الباطل،، وأصبح المرجفون في المدينة لا صوت لهم..

والله ولي الصابرين.

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